c.O.L.o.U.R.s 'n' F.l.a.V.o.u.R.s

The sand slips the mind stays still the road ahead no one knows which colour a purple destination an orange bee creates a buzz and you smile a cheer you drift into another land you paint your colours and flavours it’s a peaceful haven with chosen skyline and a bed of cloud only to return to a jagged reality and you lost what you had won you remember the time you heard it on the computer a certain weeping willow and it brought a smile to both your faces a movie barely watched a trip to the corner to light a smoke and make a cuppa coffee talk some more and head back to the willow and then you are now treading on a tighropewalk trying to regain the balance figuring why is everything around so pale , so dull crumbling like a stale cookie you lost your colours your flavours your turquoise turtles your weeping willow today they’re free, you’re not yesterday I was free, you were’nt tables turn, she digs into her bag she finds a memoir she wants her illusion she wants her reality she knows she has none arrrrgggghh am going that way again .. snap out of the loss gain loss routine we all think a while move into our comfort zones for a while rejuvenate to free ourselves of the cross of guilt the cross of failures the cross of speculation and cross speculation but it’s not something to be grieved I reckon coz we all need to keep rediscovering our colours and flavours some however just stay forever.

*They say jump and I say how high?
They say jump and I say I might…*
- stereophonics

P.u.R.P.L.e.

Just struck me …something about colours … they make me happy. Think about it a fuschia sky melting into gold grass illuminated with a flaming orange sun breezed upon by a silver tree the purple flowers and a hint of mustard where the bees drew nectar.Yet if I was to paint a picture ..i’d prefer it monochromic or a sepia tone. Nothing i do, nothing i think nothing i feel, nothing i see, nothing i hear ever seems picture perfect. Or mabbe I need a hint of optimism ..what coulour or flavour is that?

it does!!...your universe does shrink ..n then you need a shrink!

It changes everyday... pretty dynamic i say ..sometimes it changes five times or more a day ... your "frame". On bad day ..it just seems to be a ceaseless prcess of switch on and off. Sometimes you feel XL, sometimes you feel L, and then there are days you feel a M, S, or even XS. I’m not talking about you shrinking physically to fit into your favourite pair of hip – hugging jeans, coz usually when you manage to fit into the absolutely flattering XS levis’… it’s a priceless moment. Inversely, when your mind is feeling XS, it really isn’t the most exhilarating moment or the frame you want to be in for long.

I feel XS today.

What r the symptoms that u r feeling XS:
- everything seems to be rolling over the edge. You try to contain your cup of hope n despair ..but you see it half empty nevertheless.
- No clarity with regards to everything, everyone and anything!
- Your boss makes no sense ..AT ALL!!!!!! Your friends seem to talk gibberish. You folks at this point obviously are living on another planet and talking the alien lingo.
- And you don’t have a dog to make you feel wanted.
- You wish you had not left things undone and unsaid …like should have completed the training in flash and after effects!
- You listen to Stereophonics 24/7 and depress yourself even more so.
- “Cheech and chong up in smoke” does give you the splits anymore L
- 24 hours seem to stretch to 108 hours!!
- You feel like a micron of the scum of the earth.

You bury your head in a pillow and u’ll only feel smaller. It’s the XS syndrome …

you need a shrink!!!!

Kula Shaker had sung intelligently
“If your were alone,
No one would know that you were crying
If you were a dream,
Nothing would seem high or low”

And rightly so… and thank god for that!! imagine not being able to feel high or low ... XL or XS!!!

turd sulk!

Shoestrunghopepeaches – are u sulking?

Bluedyedcynicalrecluse – who me? I’m not.

Shoestrunghopepeaches – yes you are!

Bluedyedcynicalrecluse – am not!

Shoestrunghopepeaches – you are!

Bluedyedcynicalrecluse – NO! am not!

Shoestrunghopepeaches – But you are. I can see it!

Bluedyedcynicalrecluse – am not!

Shoestrunghopepeaches – you’re sulking

Bluedyedcynicalrecluse – I’m not sulking!

Shoestrunghopepeaches – why would’nt u admit it.

Bluedyedcynicalrecluse – coz am not sulking.

Shoestrunghopepeaches – ofcourse u are, u mofo!

Bluedyedcynicalrecluse – listen you nincompoop, I’m not sulking.

Shoestrunghopepeaches – yes you are!

Bluedyedcynicalrecluse – am not!

Shoestrunghopepeaches – but why are you sulking?

Bluedyedcynicalrecluse – *red-blue in the face* you’re beginning to piss me off.

Shoestrunghopepeaches – sure, whatever suits you, but seriously, I’m concerned, why are you sulking?

Bluedyedcynicalrecluse – Read my lips - I A.M. N.O.T. S.U.L.K.I.N.G.!!!!!

Shoestrunghopepeaches –Aww… c’mon, now u’re sulking and u’re pissed.

Bluedyedcynicalrecluse – *ignores*

Shoestrunghopepeaches – you need to let it out of the system. C’mon lets take the chariot of fire out.

Bluedyedcynicalrecluse – leave me alone. Go!

Shoestrunghopepeaches – can’t leave you. You’re sulking.

Bluedyedcynicalrecluse – what would it take you to believe that I’m not sulking!

Shoestrunghopepeaches – Tell me, what are you sulking about and I’ll be gone.

Bluedyedcynicalrecluse – nothing! I’m NOT sulking! Arrrrgggh!

Shoestrunghopepeaches – bro, yes you are!

Bluedyedcynicalrecluse – am not!

Shoestrunghopepeaches –you are!

Bluedyedcynicalrecluse – no!

Shoestrunghopepeaches – yes!

Bluedyedcynicalrecluse – no!

Shoestrunghopepeaches – whatz with the crease on your forehead?

Bluedyedcynicalrecluse – what crease?

Shoestrunghopepeaches – that crease?

Bluedyedcynicalrecluse – WHAT crease?

Shoestrunghopepeaches – that one?

Bluedyedcynicalrecluse – Is it a long crease?

Shoestrunghopepeaches – *intent gaze* shyte, it looks like a canyon in the middle of your forehead..it’s pretty long I say?

Bluedyedcynicalrecluse – long and deep, aye??

Shoestrunghopepeaches – hmmmmm…THE crease.

Bluedyedcynicalrecluse – what about it? What does it look like?

Shoestrunghopepeaches – it looks like you’re sulking.

Bluedyedcynicalrecluse – ahhhh! You mean ..like it is …it is THE sulk-crease.

Shoestrunghopepeaches – yup! thatz what I’ve been telling you, mofo!

Bluedyedcynicalrecluse – *shrugs* so awrite I might have been sulking.

Shoestrunghopepeaches – *ecstatic* hell yea!!!! YOU have been!

Bluedyedcynicalrecluse – so?

Shoestrunghopepeaches – you owe me the sulk!

[Shoestrunghopepeaches exits]

Bluedyedcynicalrecluse – was I sulking?

Turquoise Turtles...

[digs into the pancake]

Shoestrunghopepeaches – cheer up, can’t be much longer

Bluedyedcynicalrecluse – In this post modernist era of dejection and megalomania, how can you harbor hope for someone to come rescue you or your ambitions? It’s just hopeless.

Shoestrunghopepeaches – C’mon we just need to travel a little further and we shall arrive?

Bluedyedcynicalrecluse – arrive? Where? What direction are we headed in? We’re aimless remember. We’re vagabonds. We’ll never reach coz our direction is wayward.

Shoestrunghopepeaches – *gives up* alright we’ll just wait at this crossroad until we decide where to head.

Bluedyedcynicalrecluse – heh ..you want to head in all directions, yet fear to tread. You’re excited to explore yet u’re tied down by a routine obligation.You’re willing to risk it, but u’re never sure if it’s worth it. How will you and I ever know if it’s the right direction? And what is the right direction? What is it that we’re looking for or are we just looking? Sometimes we want, we explore, we abandon, we regret. We call it a waste of time and effort. And then sometimes we just vegetate, like now.

Shoestrunghopepeaches – Until you move in a certain direction, how’s one to know, if that’s what will make you jump, skip , hop.

Bluedyedcynicalrecluse – Jump. Skip, Hop? If u’re seeking happiness then why are you whiling your time taking a refuge in dejection with me. To relish suffering you do not move on. It’s a society of appearances. You appear happy, but you enjoy suffering. Or sometimes you detest suffering and compromise yourself completely coz finally you think you’ve discovered happiness.. But it’s a slap in your face. Coz it always evades you…smiles are momentary.

*black out*

Sitting atop a scenic café, it’s pitch dark. Only the stars shine but their light does’nt reach them. It's a surreal moment. Revalation yet denial. Shoestrunghopepeaches and bluedyedcynicalrecluse continue to gorge on a chocolate pancake.

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Ever been a state of complete abandon..when you’ve thought about nothing in particular. Think that’s what they call some strange peace…a momentary repose. No linear thought, no mind games, just surreal pictures in a bizarre movement. They make their own stories and sub dialogues. You’ve just let yourself sink into oblivion. It’s self-denial. It’s scary but it’s a crazy free-fall.