passive acquiescence

Have u ever been stranded at a point when u say to yourself I don't know anything anymore!!!
Have you ever had this stomach pit hitting feeling that makes you want to sink and crouch yourself into a ball of nothingness.
Have you ever wanted to make trip to a hill .. only to stand at it's peak and shout your lungs out?
Have you ever been determined enough to make the mountains move to make things happen and nothing moves.
Have you ever browsed through your phonebook and found no one to call?
Have you ever just found yourself in the midst of questions with no answers?
Have you ever felt so lost amongst things which are familiar and intimate?
Have you ever wanted to weave a spider's web to trap your thoughts and not let them dissolve in oblivion?
Have you ever hoped that when you shut your eyes it all disappears?
I might sound neurotic .. but the final emotion destroys you.
It's a cuckoo climax. Delirious and quixotic. You believe you're a martyr.
It's a spinning film of emotion-motion anger, uncertainty, fear and trials. You want to escape it. You can't.

You're running a marathon in your head.

Passive acquiescence is an excruciatingly demanding task. And the obstinate self does not allow it. Atleast not easily.
I don't want anger. I don't want ambiguity. I don't want passive acquiescence.

If it was just about chivy; it's ultimate end would be inevitable hunt. You move on. But this is nothing like it. It's more approach and retreat and regret for not being able to make a convincing plea.
Have you ever wanted to never give up and just keep trying. You slack. Then try. You falter. Then try. You upset. Then try. You progress. Then try. You fear. Then try. You alienate. Then try. You end. Then try.

Is it the trying that's tiring? Will the mind's marathon ever end? Will you ever make peace with another again?
Will you finally surrender to passive acquiescence?