cocoon crash...

An obscene sense of satisfaction ..in the process of chasing them away. Distress eclipses after having chased them away. A perverse sense of complacency at not making an effort, a vulnerability envelops when I make an attempt towards making an effort. That’s exactly why it seems so futile. That’z exactly why you want to remain in your cocoon…secure and uncomplicated…away from eyes that seek…away from eyes that perceive…away from eyes that question…away from eyes that are brimming with nostalgia. You want to push it all away. You seek solitude n repose…but it gets lonely somewhere, sometime, somehow.

And then u realize what a complete mess u’ve made of yourself and those who cared about you …once. It’s a horrible sinking feeling. To chase illusion you destroy reality. It’s a price you once chose to pay, but you live to regret, coz it’s not worth it. You just grow to realize you enjoyed the suffering …and now you don’t.

Heh ..ironic ..i thought I knew it all ..but things never did turn out my way ..and the loss was entirely mine.

“I thought I knew it all
I thought I had it made
How could it end this way?”
-Megadeth