H.O.P.E. junkie

H.O.P.E. junkie..

HOPE…a word loaded with expectations, faith, belief, dreams, sanguinity, a secure existence, desire, intuition et al; inevitably lead to a baneful denouement – despair.

Knowing the false security you are bluffing yourself into, you heavily depend on your dosage of hope. Consistently indulging in a game of tomfoolery with your own emotions, you ascend and descend the ladder of hope; playing hide and seek with prolonged moments of melancholy and ecstasy.

Hope is addictive.

Sometimes a head rush while daydreaming; an Elysium of broken dreams and mushrooming expectations; a vision of rendering a concrete shape to cotton-candy hope. Unseal your eyes and poof! Hope evaporates.

Pleasurable moments of indulging in alleviating melancholy. A prick from a needle, the thrill, the immediate acceptance of pain. Hope churns up a mediocre mix of stinging hurt and discourteous pleasure. It unceremoniously deludes you into believing that the Elysium you built in your conscious mind will take form. Dragging you to the edge, and send you rolling down a ceaseless vacuum.

They say to hope junkies - “If you never try, you’ll never know”. It’s a little complicated to assess whether “trying” is worth the agony and the resentment. If you rise from the ashes and the trance of hope, you’d be the phoenix that resisted apocalyptic addiction; else hope would crucify you nevertheless.

Hope is a lethal drug. Slowly erodes the sense of self, devouring and consuming the spirit, it disintegrates your essence, desire, vigour, will and strength to live a nonchalant life. It raises a human wreck which corrodes into oblivion!!

Time, effort, spirit – melting, vegetating, broken...

You’re a decaying pile of debris
You’re burnt out on hope
You’re a h.o.p.e junkie…

Wasted…

h.o.p.e…
An easy word
A convenient shield
A betraying illusion
An idyllic trance

A soaring tower of
Belief
Faith in serendipity
Afloat in paradise,
No different from the delusional
Eden’s utopian spread…

A wasted routine
An impulsive addiction
Carcass of broken spirit

Tightrope on hope
Hurt you will,
Out of the blue
Into the black…

The pain might fade
Erased it will not be

…Coming back to hope
A vicious cycle…
A perfect mockery
The joke’s on you.

Pinion of enslaving illusion
Pinnacle of self-destruction
h.o.p.e.